We've Moved!

Finally, we are moved into our new house. Now the trick is to finish getting all our crap out of the old house's storage building and shop. Why is this a trick? Because neither my husband nor I want to go back to that hellhole AND it's been raining for weeks.

The yards are swamps and it's been nearly impossible to get into the back yard of the old house. Luckily the new owner plans to make it a rent house and is giving us time to make a few improvements to the property as well as get out. For now. I hope the guy's patience holds.

Now, to get unpacked at our new house--not easy when I'm relying on my husband for so much of the moving of the boxes and hanging of shelves and whatnot. It's driving me crazy. I predict future postings soon, regarding my husband's crap--because my patience is rapidly disappearing! But I'm trying to hold on because he has a deadline approaching to turn in the manuscript of his book to his editor.

Meanwhile, here's a photo of the new house!



I really wish the rain would stop and everything would dry out so that we could mow the lawn and get a fence built for our dogs. Then we could enjoy that wonderful front porch. Right now the dogs are tied up on it. And the flies and mosquitos are swarming. It. Sucks. The. Big. One.


~Sleeping Mommy

Anyone Know a Professional Floor Guy?

He thought he could redo the floor in a weekend. Wish me luck.

Catt

PS - Full story on my blog.

Commitment, Counseling, Compromise

Well, it has been several months since I last posted. It seems that counseling has helped. While I cannot speak for my husband, I will assess the situation the way I see it.

At first DH went to counseling because he wanted me to get better (typical). But he soon realized that he was contributing to the unrest as well. I think he finally realized that the clutter was truly affecting me as badly as I claimed. He also realized some hidden anger, and that his anger caused him to ignore my requests for help.

It takes an humble man to admit all this, but he did. That alone got things heading the right direction.

So here is the atmosphere now: DH volunteers to help me hang pictures and clean up. We took a truck load of stuff to the flea market. He has developed a budget and no longer spends money foolishly (which he did when he was angry). He has short-term and long-term goals for getting the house clutter free and organized. Life is pleasant in our home now.

What did I do to bring about change? I packed up MY superfluous items (even things I wanted) and moved them out. I painted the interior of the house, which helped it look clean, and the color on the walls reduced the “look” of clutter. I learned to accept my husband’s limitations. His efforts at change are tremendous, so I’ve let go some of my expectations. In other words, compromise.

Also, my sister loaned me a book called “It’s All Too Much” by Peter Walsh which I highly recommend to all of you and your spouses. I just read it last night, myself. It sure put in words what we have all been trying to say. Here is an excerpt from page 45:

Clutter denies us peace of mind: Time and again, the people I deal with attribute much of the conflict in their relationships or the sense of hopelessness in their lives to the clutter itself. . . . .I constantly see couples whose lives are torn apart from their arguments about disorganization. Many of these people also struggle with anxiety or depression.

Due to fear of copyright infringement, I will stop there, but you get the picture. It is what we already knew: Clutter Causes Chaos.

I Hope the rest of you are Conquering the Clutter problem.

Cyclothymic Cister

A solution in sight?

Could it be? After all this time, and my near complete despair of ever making any progress with the man, there may be a solution in site when it comes to my husband's crap.

Keep your fingers crossed for us. The solution involves moving to a "new" (to us) home, with a lot more space. We have one in mind and are hoping (desperately) that it is meant to be and will work out. However if its not this particular house we will keep looking and working on the finances so we can get the right one when it comes along.

The one we are looking at requires a great deal of work. Some of it cosmetic, some of it a more in depth remodel. However the potential is nearly-endless (to us) with this particular home. It has four bedrooms! Two and half baths! A garage! And drum roll please....a room on the first floor that will serve beautifully as an office--complete with a DOOR!

However, it could be that this one is not meant for us. It could get snatched out from under us--but we are hoping the work the house needs will be a deterrent to anyone looking at it.

So this is an official call for your fingers to be crossed for us. Even though I know I'll be cursing the work we have to put into it, once we get it done it would so be worth it.

And whats even more important, he would have NO excuse at all for leaving his crap lying around where people can see it. We would have an office and a garage and eventually a shop that it could all go to. NO EXCUSE!

~Sleeping Mommy

I'm OK now!

Hey. I am ok now. We have set a mutual deadline (His idea) to get the clutter cleaned up by the end of this year. That gives us four months. I can laugh again. And smile.

(I'm not called cyclothymic cister for nothing).

Signing Off for Awhile

This site has been therapeutic for me. I have laughed and commiserated with each of you. I was able to make light of my own husband’s crap, lack of organizational skills and lack of motivation to fix the problem using humor to overcome the distress.

Now my posts have taken on a different tone. I can’t laugh about my situation any longer, which does not seem in keeping with the purpose of this site.

So since my anger out-weighs my ability to laugh, I will not post for a while.

Thank you all for your support and best wishes for overcoming your own messy situations. I will still check in from time to time to see how you are doing.

You can still read me at Cyclothymic Cister.

Later. . .

Jill/Cyclothymic Cister

When is Crap not crap?

(please pardon the crappy picture--the quality, not the contents)

Sigh... I guess when the crap is now a part of self-employment. At least that's the current excuse.

I still think there is no reason why this couldn't be a bit neater--and the stacking on the dining room table and under it just doesn't need to happen. He has a shop out back he could take these boxes too. Not to mention the intake manifold and other various car parts.

Someday. Someday I will have a house with an attached two car garage that I can at least throw this crap into when it gets to me. Someday...

~Sleeping Mommy