Weekends are hard. Especially when I get enthusiastic about cleaning up my husband’s crap. Why do I set myself up for a fall? I should know by now that cleaning up the crap is a daunting task. But every other weekend, or so, I go through this. Then half way through the day I get so crazy that I end up calling my sister and telling her the same ol’ story. The clutter is driving me crazy!
Yes, I’m in counseling. We are trying to analyze MY personality. That is all fine and good. But the truth still remains that it is my husband’s crap that is making me insane! When I trace the thread of what has me so upset, the tread always leads back to the clutter.
DH did volunteer to go to counseling, too. So far he hasn’t. His work has been especially busy right now and he hasn’t had the time to make it to the appointments. But I am not going to let him off the hook. You see, I am afraid as time goes by, he will mistakenly think that OFFERING to go the counseling is the SAME THING as going. Not so, DH. Your time is coming.
Jill/Cyclothymic Cister
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Cleaning up the Crap—NOT!
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4 comments:
Amen to that. They think we won't call their bluff. In counseling, one of the things we learned is that we must lower our expectations and not expect the others to read minds (and not to take it personally like he's purposely leaving his crap all over), but it's HARD not to feel that way.
Slowly but surely it's changing. I can't bear to share pics of the house right now (I'm partially to blame there) but you wait until I get pics of his area that he's responsible for cleaning. HAH!
Kris: Yes, I have been told to not expect my husband to read my mind. HE has told me that himself. In fact he insisted I make him lists of the things I want done. Trouble is, he is so passive-aggressive that he will procrastinate, all the while saying he is going to do such and such. If I mention it again, then I'm nagging. THe whole thing is really making me crazy. I hope councseling will reveal to him how passive-aggressive he is (read: liar) and he will change a little.
A good friend's husband was a compulsive shopper and collector of anything and everything. He recently died because of a cancerous brain tumor and I have been helping her clean out her house. She must have given away over 300 shirts (many still in the packages), 200 ties (still with tags), suits, jackets and any other items of clothing you can imagine. He also saved quarters, stamps, old radios, etc, etc, etc. I found bags of coins, unopened envelopes of pictures, and the list goes on and on. She hasn't even tackled the attic yet. I'm glad you are in counseling and I hope it helps. My friend went, but it never really helped her. Her husband was the one who needed it but would never go. He is now dead, has left piles and piles of junk and an enormous debt for her to sort out. The money he spent would have paid her son's college tuition.
p/o what a sad story!
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